SO YOU'RE AN X-CLASS AKUDAMA

[akudamods]

[Eventually, you will find yourselves in the only place that is really big enough to hold all of you: the basement. And there, the glitches that have been plaguing you off and on all day stop. Perhaps they're simply outdone by the tacky Matrix lighting all over the place. The early birds see a shuffling white coat from behind the desk in the back; for all the size of the glasses on this woman's face, she picks you out in the darkness immediately.]

Oh boy, it's almost time to start the presentation! "Akudama", Akudama...

[She's pacing nervously, not engaging much with the others, until 6:45 PM, at which point she gets up and starts a terrible PowerPoint type of presentation projected on the wall.]

So, hiiiiii. I'm the Physicist, uh, former X-Class Akudama renowned throughout Kansai, and I'll be taking care of you here at the WS Research Hospital. Don't worry, I have doctorates in other things too. [Next slide.] And here's the layout upstairs for the rooms where you'll be staying—you'll find out which one is yours when my friend the Zealot brings in the seals and smartphones. Treatment is expected to take six weeks, and while accepting our therapies is completely opt-in, we will provide you with a little local currency in compensation for your participation in the experimental research. Then you'll be anchored in this reality, and that's one step closer to getting back towards your original dimension in one piece! And, oh, yeah, I know it's really tempting, but please don't kill each other just so killing an X-Class Akudama and living to tell the tale gets you to travel back in time and fix your greatest mistake, or something like that.

Any questions?

Comments

[fixingtodie]

[Rachel is quiet during the presentation, but softly yet firmly speaks up afterwards.]

So.... you can fix what's wrong with us?

[...]

And... as long as we complete the treatment, we can go back home?

[cantwaittowatch]

Well, it's that if you don't complete the treatment then you probably can't go home because you'll disintegrate first.

[She has a sincerity as she says this.]

I've been stuck here for eight months, but the months I wasn't actively disintegrating were all really great, and it was a lot easier to make progress on researching ways to actually go home. If it keeps up at this rate, it might actually be done within six weeks, but I can't make that promise.

...also a lot of people want to see you guys in prison or executed but. One step at a time.

[depleting]

[ ... ]

Um, if it isn't rude for me to say so, that's a really specific example...

[cantwaittowatch]

Oh, but that's one of the most common rumors about the X-Class Akudama based on their inconsistent spatiotemporal origins. Now, specific, that would be something like the X-Class Akudama can't interact with organic matter from this dimension for a whole week until one of them kills someone.

[fullswingkiss]

[ Okay, hello there, you are NOT trustworthy. ]

Has this treatment successfully been completed to the point of return before?

[ She's clearly still here and while that might be a personal choice... hm. ]

[cantwaittowatch]

To the point of return? [She's listening to this very carefully, wondering if there was a deficiency in her presentation, but finally decides she has followed his phrasing and frowns sharply.] The core of the malady is that X-Class Akudama travel in and out of dimensions. Putting them into a state where they had an additional innate ability to travel, even just to return, would be itself a destabilizing process.

[saucerous]

[She thrusts her hand into the air silently, expression twisted into this grimace of deep thought and concentration.]

[cantwaittowatch]

Yes, Sorcerer? [Calls on her. Winces.] Oh, sorry. [In case she doesn't like being called that name.]

[pr159]

[ ... ]

Several, actually. To begin with, what does this "treatment" entail, exactly?

[ And before he can get some vague bullshit answer— ]

And no need to shy away from getting technical.

[cantwaittowatch]

Oh, you can't feel it already?

[She waves both her arms almost lavishly at the treatment pods that fill the basement.]

This building is at the core of our attempt to stabilize Kansai for the others like us. It's already providing you more stability than you felt before, right? But, see, the thing about being in another dimension is that it's inherently hostile to "alien" life. [Raises her eyebrow.] You might know that better than all of us, even the Scion, actually.

[So...]

The inside of the pods will provide a combination of local and extradimensional stimuli that likewise have an "environmental" effect. There's a lot of different axes it works on, though I can promise no radiation. Not popular around here.

[conways_retribution]

<sub>[He's just staring at the presentation and nodding to himself. Just hang out around here until he's fixed. Shouldn't be too hard.

But his brow furrows at the last part.]</sub>

Other than those weird puppets on TV, what weirdos out there are just offering us something to kill each other? _{[He may or may not have been paying attention to those animals.]}

[cantwaittowatch]

Well, uh, actually you could probably find a lot of local Akudama who'd fence you dynami—

[She shakes her head hard multiple times, deciding to will the thought away.]

It's not "Shark and Bunny's" offer. Their messages simply describe your innate capabilities as an X-Class Akudama. Though, some cases might involve your items showing up here, which would probably feel a lot like getting offered something in practice...?

[jumpropegarrote]

[Yeah, so, Debbie does not like pain, and that glitching thing just really freaked her out, so when the first one happened to her arm, she pretty much just goes to the basement immediately-luckily her legs didn't glitch while running, otherwise things might've gotten a lot more ugly.

She's quiet for the presentation-she was always quiet for Miss Davis' presentations, she can be quiet here-but by the end of things, she can't help but have questions.]

Are your names Physicist and Zealot? Or is that just what people call you?

[cantwaittowatch]

Yeah, it's what people around here call me. [Laughs.] I actually had that on one of my note cards, thought it'd ease things in. Yeah, people around here do that kind of thing all the time, it took me a long time to get used to.

But it's kind of fun to have a secret, right? I used to only share my nicknames with my friends. [Shrugs.]

[your_best_friend]

[* Flowey will raise a polite vine, concern clear on his face.]

Um, I don't mean to intrude, but... what are these treatments, exactly? Are you going to use magic? Or is there some sort of machine...?

[cantwaittowatch]

[Gestures at the pods.]

Machines.

[Are you going to make her talk more...?]

[hunterandhunted]

[While this is hardly his first rodeo with human experimentation, and being the receiver of it, Zenos doesn't look to pleased.]

What's stopping us from simply leaving on our own?

[cantwaittowatch]

Well, I'd say the police drones because of your probation, but...

[Rolls eyes really hard.]

This hospital is the core of the stabilized area of the city. You'll have a different time if you leave Kansai altogether. I'm actually a little impressed if you waited long enough not to try.

[thefifthchild]

[Damian looks at her like she's a smear of dirt on his shoe. Nope. Absolutely not. No. He's seen this song and dance before, you should absolutely never trust doctors ever, ninety percent of them are evil.]

I'll pass on whatever "treatment" you have planned, thanks.

[cantwaittowatch]

Oh, well, that's too bad, but I understand. I hope that the hospital itself provides enough of a stabilizing influence. If that makes you uncomfortable... [She smiles weakly.] You have realized by now that you're being detained regardless, right?

[priori]

A poor presentation with insufficient detail. If you expect anyone to participate in your experiments, you need to elaborate on what they entail.

[ Even if they're "opt-in." Also, that aside about it being "one step closer to getting back to their original dimension."

Please. What's with this sketchiness. ]

[metamere]

Oh, give her a break won't you? [ Phrased politely as an ask, though overly peppy. ] These science types usually rank the lowest in charisma and communication.

[intimations]

And here I was thinking you'd be as frigid as the citizenry. Glad to know you'll be more receptive than they were.

[Not that he seems particularly bothered about the former, but you know!!]

But that's awfully kind of you, isn't it? Piercing through different dimensions just to return us to where we came from can't be an easy task.

[cantwaittowatch]

I hate this, but it's pods you get inside. This is absolutely an envelopment thing.

[osssuary]

[He'll watch the terrible PowerPoint presentation closely from his consummate wallflowering standpoint but also definitely look like he's judging the shit out of it while doing so. Hmm.]

You're affiliated with the city government and their -- puppets?

[He's totally talking about the weird mascots, right. Probably?

Either way he doesn't look in the least bit happy and his tone is frosty but he almost never looks happy anyways. They'll figure that one out soon enough!]

[cantwaittowatch]

Oh, I'm affiliated with the Kansai government. Bunny and Shark are all Kanto!

[voidseeing]

... experimental research.

[The icy tone to his voice is impossible to miss. Oh, he does not like the sound of this at all.]

[cantwaittowatch]

...

[Keeps waiting for him to ask some kind of question. Eventually blinks in frustration.]

Are you going to make this some kind of "we dissect you, we publish our findings fifty years later with no credit or compensation" thing.

[queendoms]

Fie, simply give them yon keys to the castle, wilt thou not?

[ THAT'S SUCH A SPECIFIC STATEMENT WHY WOULD YOU PLANT THE IDEA IN THEIR HEADS TO BEGIN WITH??? ]

What 'therapies' dost thou speak of? What sort of procedure are we expected to undertake?

[ don't poke her with needles after the day she's had, pls ]

[cantwaittowatch]

Asking to put 'em down. [The keys. A shrug as if that was inconsequential.]

You get inside the pods, you're more used to being in another dimension than you were at first. Pretty painless.

[zeadrone]

[During the meeting, from the entrance of the basement, everyone will hear a faitn buzzing, before a drone appears. Black, vaguely bell-shaped, with a lot of cameras and some speakers on top of a pole. Its arms are carrying a box full of stuff.

It's pretty likely someone will look back once it enters. When it notices people looking at it, the drone seems to shrink on itself, from the way the joints between arms and body seems to retract a little]

Ah--sorry for being late! There were some minor issues. It's not that big of a deal.

[That was directed at the Physicist, yup. The drone looks around and starts hovering towards people, a male voice sounding through the speakers -- the voice of the person controlling the drone]

I brought phones for anyone who doesn't have one already. In here you also will find your seals, the--the thing that will work as your money. You should check the list of rules in the Akudama Go app. Please, it's for your own sake. [He sure sounds like he doesn't know how to be persuasive] If you have any questions please direct them at the Physicist over there.

[As if! Everyone is more than welcome to hassle the Zealot, that's for certain. But yeah, there he is distributing your seals and phones for anyone who doesn't have one]

[queendoms]

[ yells a little

she's so tired of robots ]

[woodeneye]

[ So, Ragetti didn't understand a good eighty percent of that presentation. Smartphones? Experimental research? Travel between dimensions? Mumbo jumbo, as far as he's concerned. What he does grasp is that this woman seems to be the closest thing to an authority figure they've got so far, and thus might have an answer to his most pressing question. As soon as she invites questions, he raises his voice - not accusingly, at least not yet: ]

Where's our friends?

[ He gestures to Rachel, then back to himself, in case it wasn't clear who the "our" referred to. I mean, he's mostly asking for himself, but. It's good to have backup. ]

[metamere]

[ A shocked expression spreads across his features. This is apparently news to Wizard, for some reason. ]

Did you lose yours?

[thefifthchild]

[Damian is going to look... melancholy as he seemingly glares at the floor, processing all the information they've been given.]

...Is time passing by a specific variable while we're here? In our worlds, I mean.

[Wouldn't that be a joke.]

[cantwaittowatch]

Parallel is the basic assumption we start with, but if we were able to monitor as we choose, not even continuously, just enough to verify that, it'd be a huge-game changer. And we know it's possible for two people to come from the same core dimension in different ways. Whether it's from two different variants or as some huge simultaneous irregularity isn't really clear.

[inspiritus]

[ Here's this asshole finally. He's probably late, but hey. ]

Yes.

[ He's beside her in the next second, and there's a smile on his lips. He ALSO doesn't have his weapon out but something about his expression seems kind of very unfriendly. ]

Tell us how we were brought here.

[cantwaittowatch]

[Two can play at this game.]

You came here.

[Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh boy.]

Not the way it ends up sounding when Bunny and Shark talk about it. But innate variation in location explains a lot more than a dimensional rift in a specific place or something.

[mrfuckwit]

I don't need therapy.

_{[ Denial is step one. ]}

You mess with me and I'll mess with you. Simple as that, bitch.

[cantwaittowatch]

Someone could use like fifteen sessions in toxic masculinity, actually.

[None of those things were questions so this is what you get.]

But you're thinking of psychotherapy, that's actually not one of my doctorates' departments. If I had to pick someone, it's my friend the Zealot's job.

[daemonis]

[So Loremaster has been quiet this entire time, letting people talk (or make fools of themselves) while taking notes on her own here, before she finally speaks up.]

So I have a question now: would it be possible to have a demonstration shown to us of how the pods work before any of us use them? Perhaps seeing this may put some of the... less than enthusiastic here at ease if it does not appear to cause harm to someone.

[mrfuckwit]

Yeah, please. Enlighten those who don't trust any of this bullshit.

_{[ edgy mcgee here still recovering from his little outburst there ]}