SO YOU'RE AN X-CLASS AKUDAMA

[akudamods]

[Eventually, you will find yourselves in the only place that is really big enough to hold all of you: the basement. And there, the glitches that have been plaguing you off and on all day stop. Perhaps they're simply outdone by the tacky Matrix lighting all over the place. The early birds see a shuffling white coat from behind the desk in the back; for all the size of the glasses on this woman's face, she picks you out in the darkness immediately.]

Oh boy, it's almost time to start the presentation! "Akudama", Akudama...

[She's pacing nervously, not engaging much with the others, until 6:45 PM, at which point she gets up and starts a terrible PowerPoint type of presentation projected on the wall.]

So, hiiiiii. I'm the Physicist, uh, former X-Class Akudama renowned throughout Kansai, and I'll be taking care of you here at the WS Research Hospital. Don't worry, I have doctorates in other things too. [Next slide.] And here's the layout upstairs for the rooms where you'll be staying—you'll find out which one is yours when my friend the Zealot brings in the seals and smartphones. Treatment is expected to take six weeks, and while accepting our therapies is completely opt-in, we will provide you with a little local currency in compensation for your participation in the experimental research. Then you'll be anchored in this reality, and that's one step closer to getting back towards your original dimension in one piece! And, oh, yeah, I know it's really tempting, but please don't kill each other just so killing an X-Class Akudama and living to tell the tale gets you to travel back in time and fix your greatest mistake, or something like that.

Any questions?

Comments

[zeadrone]

[During the meeting, from the entrance of the basement, everyone will hear a faitn buzzing, before a drone appears. Black, vaguely bell-shaped, with a lot of cameras and some speakers on top of a pole. Its arms are carrying a box full of stuff.

It's pretty likely someone will look back once it enters. When it notices people looking at it, the drone seems to shrink on itself, from the way the joints between arms and body seems to retract a little]

Ah--sorry for being late! There were some minor issues. It's not that big of a deal.

[That was directed at the Physicist, yup. The drone looks around and starts hovering towards people, a male voice sounding through the speakers -- the voice of the person controlling the drone]

I brought phones for anyone who doesn't have one already. In here you also will find your seals, the--the thing that will work as your money. You should check the list of rules in the Akudama Go app. Please, it's for your own sake. [He sure sounds like he doesn't know how to be persuasive] If you have any questions please direct them at the Physicist over there.

[As if! Everyone is more than welcome to hassle the Zealot, that's for certain. But yeah, there he is distributing your seals and phones for anyone who doesn't have one]

[queendoms]

[ yells a little

she's so tired of robots ]

[zeadrone]

It...doesn't look that bad, does it? I thought the design was decent...

[He's muttering when he hears her yell a little, apparently referring to the design of the drone he's piloting]

[cantwaittowatch]

[Explaining the Zealot's last sentence:]

He's shy.

[zeadrone]

I told you I'd have preferred not to be here.

[As if that's a rebuttal instead of a confirmation that yeah, he's shy, apparently]

[hunterandhunted]

[Another robot? Except the voice of a person seems to be coming from it.

Zenos takes his items, but he also sets a very large hand on top of Zealot, presumably to stop it from rolling on by.]

Who is controlling you, little machine?

[zeadrone]

Could you get your hand off my drone? You're in the way. Sorry.

[For someone cooperating in all this, he sure seems kind of apologetic]

I'm the Zealot. Unfortunately that's what people around here calls me, but that title is so... [He makes a noise of annoyance] I suppose it doesn't really matter. Let's just get this over with, okay?

[He tries to get the drone away from Zenos]

[conways_retribution]

[He took the phone and the seal he was given...]

So by the numbers on these, I'm Room 1, huh? I guess I really am the 1%.

[SEINFELD BASSLINE]

[zeadrone]

Enjoy. It's just a hospital room, but it's good enough for your stay. Don't forget your existence is in my partner's hands.

[woodeneye]

[ takes his phone

stares at the phone

stares at the rules

stares???

he's from the 1700s and he can't read help ]

[zeadrone]

I can read them for you if you'd like. It's okay, just ask for any help whenever you need it.

[Well at least someone is willing to help, it seems!]

[metamere]

Oh? But she said it was your job! [ Pocketing his phone without a second glance at it. ]

[zeadrone]

My job is...how do I explain this... [The drone sighs] It's true my job is to be the PR department, but my responsibilities aren't exclusively answering questions to you all. I'm in contact with the population out there. You could say I'm the face of the operation.

[As if! Such words sure would sound better if they weren't said by a drone instead of face to face. His tone even trails off a little while he talks, like he's trying to come up with something that doesn't sound incredibly shaky]

All the technical details go to my partner over there. Science was never my best subject.

[your_best_friend]

[* Once handed the phone, Flowey's first task is to read the rules. Upon considering them to be reasonable, he goes to check to see if he has anything in his BOXes. There are no BOXes.]

...You don't have any spacial storage BOXes set up? How are people going to keep the items they don't want on them? Everyone's inventories gonna be so unnecessarily cluttered.

[zeadrone]

Your...what? You can just keep stuff in your bedroom. Nobody has to go around carrying everything they get around here.

[The Zealot seems a bit confused]

[inspiritus]

Tell me about this Commissioner. Who is he? Is he going to make an appearance as well?

[zeadrone]

She. She's the woman in charge of the police force here in Kansai, a resident of this world. The Commissioner doesn't mingle with Akudama. You probably will see her, but you don't want her to notice you.

Most of the time the Akudama she pays attention to die shortly afterwards. You don't want that to happen to you.

[intimations]

[He flips the phone around in his hand a few times as he examines it, poking the screen some before pocketing it alongside the seal.]

Thanks for the toys. I'll be sure to make good use of them.

Oh, but speaking of toys--I must say, that's quite the fetching form you've made for yours. I didn't see a thick shaft like that on any of the others around here. [He's talking about the pole with the speakers on it. Probably.] Were the other machines your handiwork, or someone else's?

[zeadrone]

H-H-H-Hey!

[Apparently the Zealot didn't expect the innuendo, hah. He almost drops the box, definitely not used to anyone speaking to him like that!]

N-No, only the drone. The machine all belong to the city, except the ones the Physicist uses for her job. You can buy all sorts of drones and machines in this world, so I got one, and asked for some modifications, and now...

[........]

Does it look strange? And, hopefully, without anything that brings to mind any innuendo? I hate the thought it can.

[Note to himself: avoid Belial]

[priori]

[ Hmm... okay, sure. Give him a few minutes to poke the phone (while aggressively ignoring Belial's everything. That isn't his creation, he isn't responsible for whatever it's doing and whatever unfortunate souls are witnessing it) and read the rules.

Gonna pause at #6. Hm. ]

What happens if a phone is damaged?

[zeadrone]

I'll get you another one. And another, and another...as many times as it's needed. [The drone's shoulders seem to drop a little] Why are you asking that question?

[Judging by the tone he already has a thought of why one would ask such a question and he doesn't want to be right]

[osssuary]

So these devices are important in this city.

[There's a small huff, though it's not annoyed so much as exasperated; he kind of got the gist of the fact that they'd have to deal with the ridiculous amount of technology here, but still. That's usually not his department, okay.

The drone gets a leery sort of look, but given that it just seems to be a proxy speaker he doesn't do anything further to it. Instead he turns his attention to the rules, perusing them with speed but focus, and now he does look irritated.]

Tell me, is there a reason that this area thinks it has jurisdiction over our past actions in our own territories?

[zeadrone]

Their world, their rules. Like...when you go to someone else's house you have to do as they say -- that's what I have heard, at least.

[The Zealot wasn't the sort to go out visiting friends. Or even leave his house]

It's really invasive, isn't it? But I guess it means to them we're all the same than any other criminal from this world. That's probably offensive in some way.

[voidseeing]

[Well, now this reminds him of Funell... which immediately makes him suspicious. Just what all is this drone capable of? And what is it really here for?]

Minor issues on your end or on ours?

[zeadrone]

On my end. I had to finish some important preparations in a rush -- the sort that can't be left unfinished.

[Apparently important enough to be vital, important enough to not go into detail, and somehow, not so important he can't mention them vaguely. Could be anything]

There's no need to wonder, everything is fine! Just fine.